Puppy Blues: What Is It and What Can I Do About It?

Your long-awaited puppy has arrived, and instead of feeling happiness, you find yourself exhausted, overwhelmed, and on the verge of tears. This sounds like a classic case of puppy blues. In this guide, you’ll find ways to prevent it, understand the causes, and get tips for relief.

What is Puppy Blues?

Even though you’ve prepared thoroughly and eagerly awaited the day you could finally hold your puppy in your arms, you’re overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, and at the end of your rope after just a few days. The world seems to revolve around the puppy, to whom you feel no connection.

You don’t understand your new furry friend and feel like you’re doing everything wrong. Maybe you’re even feeling rejected by the animal and wish you could return it and go back to your old life. Does this sound familiar? If so, take a deep breath, sit back, and read on.

How Does Puppy Blues Manifest?

Just like a depressive mood, puppy blues can range from mild to severe. Some people feel slightly overwhelmed, question their decision, and sleep a bit worse.

Others are not just on the verge of tears but cry multiple times a day, feeling desperate and as though they can’t do anything right. Sleep and food become distant memories, worsening the situation further.

Nothing seems to work with the puppy. Despite numerous attempts, it might still pee on the carpet instead of outside. Maybe it’s unsettled, refuses to walk on a leash, or is crying nonstop.

The problem here is that, as a new pet owner, you’re supposed to provide comfort, reassurance, and calm. If you’re unable to do that because you’re feeling like a pile of misery yourself, the puppy grows more restless.

This only amplifies the feeling of failure, which in turn negatively impacts the puppy. Fortunately, breaking free from this vicious cycle doesn’t require much, and you can prevent these low points from occurring in the first place.

Where Does Puppy Blues Come From?

Some people suffer from puppy blues even if they’ve owned multiple dogs before and thus know what they’re getting into. Others never experience it. It partly depends on personality and predisposition, but it also has a lot to do with preparation.

Often, during puppy blues, you hear the phrase: „This is not what I expected.“

This is common among people who have wanted a dog for years and feel they’ve prepared thoroughly. You might fall into this category, having read a lot about breeds, researched training methods, joined a dog school and online forums, talked to breeders, and watched videos.

After hours of research, you feel ready and prepared for everything. But often, this leads to overestimating yourself.

Can Puppy Blues Be Caused by Too Much Information?

No. Although it’s often claimed that people get puppy blues from over-informing themselves, this is fundamentally wrong. Preparation is important and right, but reading online and watching videos is not enough.

„But I read so much and wanted to do everything right!“ you might be thinking. Reading is good, but it only covers the theoretical part of preparation. Practical preparation is often completely neglected.

Furthermore, both online and in literature, there are many outdated and misguided „expert“ methods. For example, the 5-minute rule, the myth that puppies need to sleep 18-20 hours, or the belief that your dog is controlling you if it follows you around the house.

These myths and techniques do nothing but confuse you and leave you clueless when faced with the reality of living with a puppy. Gaining practical experience with dogs would give you a much better and more realistic idea of what lies ahead.

Does Perfectionism Cause Puppy Blues?

Expecting yourself to do everything perfectly from the start can significantly contribute to puppy blues. It puts pressure on you. If you approach puppyhood with a more relaxed and easygoing attitude, you’re less likely to experience severe puppy blues.

By the way, perfectionism can extend beyond just your behavior as an owner. Maybe you’re consciously or unconsciously expecting perfect behavior from your puppy.

Maybe your neighbor’s dog came home house-trained, sleeps through the night, and immediately obeys – while yours seems to be an unruly mess? Such comparisons are rarely accurate and never helpful.

Expect neither perfection from yourself nor from your puppy. After all, your puppy is only a few weeks old and is dealing with the trauma of being separated from its family.

Puppy Blues Due to False Expectations and Lack of Experience

Let’s be honest: When you’ve encountered other dogs, they were likely the well-behaved ones, calm and fun. When you see a poorly-behaved one, it’s because the owner is incompetent. Moreover, you’re mostly seeing the positive sides of dog ownership.

You don’t see how other dog owners are out in the rain at 2 a.m. in slippers and nightwear because their dog has diarrhea, or how they have to change the sheets because their puppy chose the bed to vomit on.

These realities are part of puppy life. The life with a puppy isn’t just about cuddling, playing, more cuddling, and training where everything works perfectly right away. It’s about poop-covered paws, chewed shoes, the 93rd „no“ of the morning as everything ends up in the puppy’s mouth, pee puddles, and sleep deprivation.

All of this happens when you still don’t have a bond with the puppy, and you don’t understand each other yet. Many people also have misconceptions about how that bond develops – it grows over time, and is not there from the first moment.

How Can I Prevent Puppy Blues?

Gain practical experience with dogs! Become a dog-walker at an animal shelter, help out with friends‘ dogs, or offer your assistance to animal protection organizations. This isn’t the same as owning your own dog, as you don’t carry full, lifelong responsibility, but it gives you a better, more realistic impression of living with a dog.

When your own dog arrives, make the initial days as easy as possible by:

Stocking up on your favorite food
Sleeping in jeans and a sweater for the night walks
Eating and drinking enough
Napping with your puppy to avoid losing your nerves from exhaustion

How to Overcome Puppy Blues?

If the puppy blues has already hit you and you see no way out, you may be thinking about giving up the dog or want to run away screaming. First, take a deep breath and try these tips:

Tip 1: Talk or Write About It

You’re not the first nor the only person experiencing puppy blues. More and more (new) dog owners openly admit to feeling significant doubts and emotional struggles after getting a puppy.

Do you have understanding friends, family, or know other dog owners? Talk to them about how you’re feeling. If you don’t want to talk, write down your thoughts, fears, and concerns. This can help relieve pressure.

Tip 2: Get Help

When everything becomes too much – feeding, walking, cleaning up after accidents – get help. Let a family member or friend take care of the puppy for a few hours. Use that time to do something important for yourself, like taking a long shower, grabbing a quick snack, or getting some rest.

Tip 3: Focus on the Positive

In the midst of puppy blues, it’s hard, but try it anyway. What’s going well or at least better? Does your puppy seek your closeness? That’s great! Even if they’re clingy, it’s better than a puppy hiding in fear and avoiding you.

Does your puppy eat, drink and sleep? It might sound silly and minor but imagine how worried you’d be if your new family member wouldn’t.

Tip 4: Take Care of Yourself

Have you showered today? Eaten enough and hydrated? Rested your legs? If not, it’s time. Order a pizza or enjoy a piece of chocolate. Take a long shower or a relaxing bath. Cook your favorite meal. But my puppy is following everywhere! So what? Let your puppy follow you around. It’s okay!

Tip 5: Keep in Mind its only for a Short Duration

If you’re in the thick of puppy blues, it can feel like an endless, exhausting struggle. But remember that the puppy phase will pass quickly. It’s just a small fraction of the dog’s entire life.

Tip 6: See It from the Puppy’s Perspective

Your puppy has just been separated from its mother, siblings, and everything familiar. This is traumatic. What your puppy needs now is security, protection, and time to adjust.

Tip 7: Take It with Humor

Are you stepping in puddles for the third time today? Did your puppy snatch the last piece of pizza right from your mouth? Don’t worry, it’s part of the process.

It’s also the base for dog owner’s stories.

When talking with other dog owners you will get to hear a lot of experiences that are funny in hindsight.

Did you hear about the dog who found his owner so puke-able, he actually puked in her hair? Or the one time I stepped in dog poop – inside my shoe?

Even though it might seem horrible right now and you might be furious: You’ll laugh about it later or at least entertain others.

How long does the puppy blues last?

I would love to tell you that the phase is over in a week, but the puppy blues can last 1, 2, or even 3 weeks. Or even longer.
Once you focus on the positive aspects, let go of perfectionism, and establish a routine with your puppy, it will get better. Your puppy is settling in with you, and you are adapting to the new situation as well. Soon, everything will feel much less overwhelming and tiring.

Does puppy blues only happen with puppies?

No, the so-called puppy blues can also hit you when you adopt an adult dog. Often, the puppy blues isn’t caused solely by the effort involved, but rather by the change in your daily routine, reduced freedoms, and the responsibility you’ve taken on for another living being.

What does puppy blues have to do with unrealistic expectations?

You bring home a puppy. The small, cute ball of fur is happy to see you, sleeps 20 hours a day, and spends the rest of the time joyfully and eagerly learning. Within a week, you’ll have a strong bond, and the little one naturally listens to you perfectly.

Was that your expectation? Then you’ve probably been hit hard with the reality check.

On top of that, there are the expectations of others, which are often completely exaggerated and add additional pressure.
If you manage to stay relaxed and reduce your expectations, you’re less likely to experience a severe case of puppy blues or will get out of it faster.

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