How to Build a Bond with Your Dog: 8 Tips

Your dream of having a dog has finally come true, but you feel no bond with your dog? You’re not alone with this problem. Our 8 tips will help you grow closer to your four-legged friend and become a team.

Building a Bond with Your Dog

Lack of bond with your dog is a big issue for many owners, not just during the „puppy blues.“ Did you imagine your life with your dog differently?

Then you’re in the right place. Because here you’ll learn how to build or strengthen a real bond with your dog.

Be Relaxed

A bond – whether between a person and a dog or two humans – does not happen instantly. It takes time and patience. So, don’t pressure yourself or your dog.

In fact, stress can even hinder your bond-building.

Be Predictable

Clear rules and consistency are the foundation of security. They serve as guidance for your dog and make you reliable.

Think carefully about the rules from the start and why they exist. It’s important that your rules make sense, and you truly stand by them. They should apply today, tomorrow, and beyond.

And remember to consider your dog’s needs. If your dog is never allowed on the couch, in the bed, or even in the kitchen, but is expected to stay on their blanket all day, get yourself a decorative stuffed animal instead.

Ignoring your dog’s need for closeness and physical contact causes confusion and stress, making bonding harder.

Learn Your Dogs Body Language

Many people misunderstand their dogs. For example:

„They play so nicely!“ – even though the dog is being bullied.
„He’s always so happy!“ – while the dog is stressed and nervous.
„He just wants to say hi!“ – when the dog is actually aggressive.
„He’s doing this to annoy me on purpose!“

Instead of projecting human intentions onto your dog, take time to understand their behavior and respect their boundaries. This helps build trust and security.

See and Treat Your Dog as an Individual

Every dog is unique. My dog Mika, for example, was a fearful dog when she was born. While her siblings were happily exploring the world, she was afraid of everything and everyone, especially strangers.

Normal socialization and training simply weren’t and aren’t. Even though she is an extreme example:

You may have a fearless dog that tests boundaries constantly, or a sensitive one that needs lots of reassurance. When you see your dog as an individual, it makes everything easier. Your dog will feel understood, and your bond will grow.

Be Patient

„My dog has been here for a week, and we still have no bond!“ – one week is really short, and the first days in a new home come with many challenges.

Bonding takes time and grows with every positive experience. But there are ways to speed it up:

Don’t force physical contact! Let your dog come to you instead of forcing them to come to you.
Follow your dog’s lead. Don’t pet them until they’re done with physical contact. Take breaks while petting instead. They’ll show you when they want more.
Embrace closeness. If your dog follows you around, don’t see it as a problem – let them seek your company. This builds trust and helps them feel secure.

Also, be patient in training and don’t expect perfection.

Be the Positive Rock

When your dog learns that you protect them and they’re safe with you, your bond will grow much faster.

Offer comfort when needed.
Go at your dog’s pace.
Don’t force them into scary situations (when avoidable).
Use positive reinforcement, not punishment.
Praise them whenever possible.

Be Authentic

I’m a terrible actress. I can’t act around humans much and I really can’t hide my emotions from dogs. And why should I? A healthy bond requires honesty and authenticity.

If you’re annoyed, show it. If you’re sad, express it. Just don’t direct negative emotions toward your dog. Your dog can’t help it if training isn’t going smoothly or if you had a bad day.

Make sure to relax before engaging with your dog. Otherwise, you risk transferring your stress and bad mood to them, which weakens the bond.

Create Positive Experiences

Building a strong bond with your dog is like building a friendship or partnership. Shared (positive) experiences bring you closer.

Try to have at least one enjoyable moment every day. There are many options:

Take a relaxing walk in a pleasant environment or during quiet times.
Play a game – whether racing or tugging, just have fun.
Treat your dog with something special, like a puzzle feeder or a delicious meal.
Enjoy some cuddle time together after your dog has exercised and eaten.
Train with small steps, focusing on their individual needs and always ending on a positive note.

How Do I bond with my Dog? Patiently and Positively

Patience, praise, love, positive experiences, and learning your dogs’ body language will help you build a stronger bond with your dog.

Lower your expectations. If you don’t expect a deep bond to form within just a few days or weeks, you’ll have many more reasons to feel joyful and relaxed.

This approach will ease both your and your dog’s stress and make your bond stronger in the long run.

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